sawdust and ash mixed

sawdust and ash mixed
stepping in sand, the curve
of my feet, the curve of my g,
rolling in the pile.
the curve of my feet with
lightning solidified down
deep into the ground throughout

a memory, from childhood, a real memory

do either of you remember
that day
when, pointed, we found
those flat glass blue beads,
buried in mud
beside the driveway;
surrounded by grass that
sometimes
a wooden fence
swung over
'cuz men riding
lawn mowers
glided past?
we found flat glass blue beads
as if they'd been there
for i don't know.
do either of you know
how they got there?
was it grandma pat?
was it papa?

Celebrity Death Watch: Demi Moore

J.J. has written about this video here.

Pink in the sink has updated.
He Goes On All Fours has updated.

I feel like I shouldn't use YouTube. There're other sites I could use.

"Autolysis" at Six Sentences

I've written something called "Autolysis" and it appears at Six Sentences.

Six Sentences has also released its first volume, but I don't know if "Autolysis" is included. If it is, it might be on one of the last pages.

i look for remixes of hyper-ballad
then i look at google images of quarries
and i feel like a wreck and nothing

Humans starving, humans eating too much, humans dying

Tao Lin linked to Melville Publishing about Stuffed & Starved, a newly published book by Raj Patel regarding the "800 million starving" and the "1 billion overweight." I think that this whole notion of over-and-under-weight is all a matter of natural selection. The starving die of starvation and the overweight will likely die of complications due to their overweight-ness. Unfortunately, humans have evolved in such a way that we can escape the laws of Darwinism in many cases. The starving don't die quickly enough and neither do the overweight. They multiply before they die, unlike our "less conscious" more "animal" counterparts in the wild.

I've written two paragraphs with allegories for my thoughts on this. I wrote the first one first, and then thought that it didn't really encompass my view of nature. Nature is not always in balance and is almost all of the time completely chaotic and violent and bloody. So both paragraphs are different but, I feel, valid.

a) I remember in grade school being taught with a simple 2d computer animation of cabbage being eaten by hopping rabbits. The rabbits would grow bountiful and, therefore, the cabbage would grow scarce. With less food to eat, the rabbits would starve to death. With fewer rabbits, the cabbage would again grow plentiful and, likewise, the rabbits would multiply with the bounty of food. Included in this illustration were coyotes eating the rabbits. Accompanying the scarceness of rabbits, the coyotes would, in turn, grow scarce until the cabbage population grew, causing the rabbit population to grow.

b) I remember in grade school being taught with a simple 2d computer animation of cabbage being eaten by hopping rabbits and the rabbits being eaten by running coyote. Without the coyote, the rabbits would grow too numerous and the amount of cabbage would dwindle to nothing. The coyote needs to eat the rabbit in order for there to be enough cabbage to survive for the surviving rabbits to eat. Likewise, there needs to be enough cabbage and rabbits in order to feed the coyote population and also keep the supply of copulating rabbits in existence.

I feel like there is little hope of escaping humanity's unnaturalness. This doesn't make me sad or happy. These are only thoughts. I have also been presented with the argument that everything humanity does is natural because we are a "natural species." So, no matter what machines we build or what we do, it is a part of nature. I'm not sure yet whether I agree or disagree with this thought yet. I think this idea was given to me by my boyfriend Steve or possibly by my very good friend Brie, who is very smart at philosophy and psychology.

p.s. I think this site is really beautiful to read. Death can be very beautiful.

Celebrity Death Watch: Geoffrey Rush

J.J. Gittes wrote about this video here at his blog.